Hello, fellow moviegoers!
Transformers: The Last Knight is directed by Michael Bay, and it stars Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel, and Laura Haddock. It is the fifth entry in the mega-hit Transformers franchise. This time around, the transformers and humans are at war with one another, and the only way to stop it is to uncover a secret about Transformers and their history on Earth.
Transformers: The Last Knight left me speechless. For about five minutes after seeing this film, I could barely utter a word. However, it wasn't the same type of speechlessness that affected me when I saw, say, Inception. My inability to speak after watching Inception was caused by the pure awe over what I had just experienced. The speechlessness I had after watching the fifth Transformers movie was caused by my brain being so numb that I couldn't comprehend anything.
I don't even know where to start with this film. It's just so much worse than I was expecting it to be, and I was expecting it to be bad. Before I get too far into this rant/review, I'd like to point out that it's important to remember that all film is subjective. Everyone has different experiences and opinions about films. For example, I could barely find anything to like about Transformers: The Last Knight, but one of my coworkers also saw it last night, and they really enjoyed it. So, if you've been a fan of the films up to this point, you'll probably enjoy this film. However, that doesn't deny the fact that I thought this was one of the worst films I've seen in the entirety of the time that I've been writing on this blog.
Let's start simple, it's too long and too complicated. This film is two and a half hours long. That runtime can work for a film, but not very often. All it did for this film was drag out the awful experience of sitting in the theater and just being in awe at how a movie could be so bad. The plot was way too overcomplicated for a franchise like this. I struggled to write the short summary at the beginning of this article because I wasn't sure how to accurately describe the plot of this movie. It seems to be going in a million different directions. There are characters that they introduce and keep going back to that serve no purpose in the movie, they try to explain that Transformers have been on Earth for thousands of years (even though the public didn't know about them until recently), and then on top of that there's something about King Arthur and his knights and how they created a powerful weapon along with the Transformers. There are also several different subplots in the film that serve absolutely no purpose, and I'm even reaching for one to apply and coming up dry.
The acting in this film was some of the worst I've seen in a major blockbuster since Independence Day: Resurgence. Mark Wahlberg looks like he's doing an impression of Mark Wahlberg the entire time. Anthony Hopkins, who is one of the best working actors out there now, was in this movie for a paycheck. He knows it, we know it, and it really shows through in his performance. The rest of the cast in this movie was just sort of there. They didn't add anything to the film. Isabela Moner, who plays the pre-teen Izabella, was a big part of the marketing for this film. She was in all of the trailers, and they even released a trailer with her speaking in it that really pushed female empowerment, saying "You think I hit like a girl? Yeah, I hit like a girl". First of all, she never throws a punch in this movie, and second of all, her character added nothing to the movie. She served absolutely no purpose. She didn't have an impact on the story, or the characters, and she wasn't even there for most of the movie. At one point in the film, Mark Wahlberg's character even asks her "What are you doing here?", to which she replies "I don't know!", and I was sitting there like "I don't know either!".
This film has no sense of continuity with not just the rest of the Transformers franchise, but even within the film itself. There are so many things that happen in this film that are later ignored, and there are a bunch of other things that just happen randomly that made absolutely no sense at all. There is one great example I have, but that would be considered a spoiler so I won't discuss it here.
Transformers: The Last Knight often tries to have extremely emotional scenes. There are probably a dozen or so reasons why they never work, but I'll just give to the big ones. Firstly, they don't earn them. We're not attached to any of these characters, so we don't care about what they plan to do. Secondly, they happen way too often. There are probably half a dozen (at least) attempted emotional scenes in this film, and the only way you can distinguish them is because the music starts swelling melodramatically during all of them. Thirdly, even if the emotional scenes had been effective, they all would've been undercut. That's because each and every one of them gets interrupted by a bad joke that some character just has to say. Because of comedic relief, I guess.
Speaking of the humor, this film tries so hard to be funny, and it just falls flat on its face almost every time. I admit, there was once or twice I chuckled slightly. It was pretty much just a singular "Ha", and that was it. Aside from those one or two occasions, this film is not funny at all. There were so many times in Transformers 5 that I cringed because the jokes they were making were so bad. Also, I'd just like to point out that just because a robot is swearing, that doesn't make them "cool" or funny. Almost every single Transformer in this film is just swearing up a storm because they could. Even if it didn't fit the character at all, they did it anyway, because why not.
Right off the bat when this movie started, I found the aspect ratio to be extremely annoying. By that I mean the size of the screen was extremely bothersome. It's an odd complaint, I know, but hear me out. First of all, it was it too thin, which I can get over, that's not a big deal. What was so distracting about the aspect ratio in this film was that it kept changing. By my count, there were three different aspect ratios that it kept switching between. The only explanation I can think of is that a lot of the film was shot in IMAX, which is great if you're watching it in IMAX. Any other way, it's extremely distracting.
I could go on and on about how bad this film is, so I'll just briefly take one last paragraph to touch on a few little things. Why did Stanley Tucci play Merlin? What was the point of that? The Bumblebee/Optimus Prime fight was fun enough, but all of the other action scenes were just visual noise. At one point, a group of planes, just, crashes, for no reason. One of them hit something, and they all went down. The visual effects and sound design were neat, but those are the only actually good things I can think of about this film.
Needless to say, I was not a big fan of Transformers: The Last Knight. Congratulations Ghost in the Shell, you're no longer the worst film I've seen this year. Transformers: The Last Knight, embodies pretty much everything wrong with the filmmaking business today. It's like McDonald's, really bad McDonald's. It's bad for you and way too processed, but consumers spend tons of money on it, so they keep making it without regard for the quality anyway. I am still in awe at how a movie could be this bad.
So what did you think of Transformers: The Last Knight? Did you find any enjoyment in it? Let me know by commenting on this post! Also, if you enjoyed this article, share it on Facebook and Twitter, it really helps! Don't forget, I post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, so check back then for more movie reviews and other miscellaneous movie thoughts!
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