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6 Ridiculous Movies in the Works

7/4/2016

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Hello, fellow moviegoers!
   Hollywood has put out some pretty weird movies over the years. There have always been those movies that make you wonder "Why does this exist?" and "Who thought this was a good idea?". Well, buckle up because that is one train that isn't going to stop anytime soon. For example, just a few months ago The Angry Birds Movie was released. A film based on a video game for  your phone that was popular seven years ago.
   Well, today I thought I'd share with you six ridiculous films that are currently in the works. These are films that have been announced and nobody really understands why. Who knows? Some of them may end up actually being good, but probably not.
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1. Fruit Ninja

   My feelings towards the Fruit Ninja film echo those of the Angry Birds Movie. Fruit Ninja, the mobile game, hit the market in April of 2010. It was popular for about a year and we haven't really heard anything about it since. Sure, every once in a while somebody will be playing it on their phone, but not very often.
   The report from the Hollywood Reporter describes the film as "a live-action family comedy". At this point, you just sit back in your chair and yell "WHY?!" as loud as you can. Sure Angry Birds made a decent amount opening weekend, but the money used to make that film could have been better used elsewhere! The most saddening thing about this Fruit Ninja movie is that money is being diverted to this instead of films people will actually be interested in seeing. Is there anyone out there who wants to see this movie? Anyone?
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​2. A Remake of Christopher Nolan's Memento

   We all know that Hollywood is obsessed with remaking movies. Whenever a new remake is announced, it's met almost immediately with cries of disbelief from film fans. That being said, some of these remakes actually turn out to be really good films and you can understand why they were made. Ocean's Eleven, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and True Grit are all examples of remakes that received fairly positive reviews. 
   That being said, on what planet is a remake of Memento a good idea? Yes, this is happening. AMBI Pictures has greenlit a remake of Memento. Memento is a fantastic film and I would even go as far to say that it's one my favorites, but why is this happening?  According to Andrea Iervolino, who runs AMBI Pictures, "Memento has been consistently ranked as one of the best films of its decade. People who’ve seen Memento 10 times still feel they need to see it one more time. This is a quality that we feel really supports and justifies a remake".
    Yes, Memento is a film that a lot of people, including myself, are constantly wanting to rewatch. So you know what they do? They rewatch it! There is no need for a remake here! It'll be the same thing! This movie came out 16 years ago, it's not dated or anything! I just don't understand...
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3. Tetris: The Movie
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   It's at this point that I believe Hollywood has completely run out of ideas. What would a Tetris movie even be about? According to Deadline's report, the film is being described as a sci-fi thriller that will be the first part of a trilogy. So not just a Tetris Movie, three Tetris Movies. Admittedly, I'm not a big fan of Tetris. So, I'm not quite sure if there has ever been a story introduced into the game. I vaguely remember there being a human character in Tetris Plus for the original Playstation, but that's about it. Will the characters be the blocks trying to race against the clock to fit in amongst their brethren? I have no idea, and I don't think Hollywood does either.
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4.  A Pez Candy Movie

   Oddly enough, I'm not completely against the idea of this movie. Don't get me wrong, it's still a really, really, weird idea. But if you think about it, so was The LEGO Movie. Granted, there are actually LEGO people, and Pez dispensers just have heads of famous pop culture icons on them. But still, I guess that's something.
   Honestly, this one just confuses me. I can't help but feel that this movie is never going to happen, not because of any reports or rumors or anything, but just because I literally cannot imagine the world where this film exists. What would it be? Variety's report says it'll be an animated film, but that sheds no light as to what it would be about. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. 
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5. A Sequel to Labyrinth

   This is a perfect case of Hollywood making a sequel to a movie too late. The original Labyrinth was released thirty years ago and at the time, it wasn't met very well. It only has a 66% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes and not very many people saw it in the theater considering it had a lifetime gross of just under $13 million. While Labyrinth is considered to be a cult-classic at this point, I can't help but wonder what the point of a sequel would be now. 
   I think the elephant in the room is the recent passing of David Bowie. The report claiming this film was moving forward came out merely 12 days after Bowie's passing, and that does seem a bit suspicious. That being said, according to screenwriter Nicole Perlman, the project has been under discussion since 2014, so hopefully this isn't just to profit on the loss of Bowie. 
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​6. Emojimovie: Express Yourself

   It was because of this film that I decided to write this article. An Emoji movie? Really? At this point, Sony Pictures reeks of desperation. I understand that their financial state isn't the best right now, and the Sony Hacks a few months back didn't help. But this is one of the worst ideas for a film that I've heard of. 
   The entirety of this film is going to take inside of a smartphone. One could assume that the main characters will be the different emojis that come default on many smartphones. The title is where is goes from bad to worse. Why?! Why would you need to take the words "emoji" and "movie" and put them together? If the title were The Emoji Movie: Express Yourself, that'd be much better. I still wouldn't be excited about the film, but it'd be better than Emojimovie: Express Yourself.

   All of these films and some others that didn't make the list (I'm looking at you Toy Story 4) make me question everything about the film industry and where it is going. It's not that I'm rooting against these films, I'm actually hoping they will be enjoyable. That way, they just bring more movie fun into the world. It's just hard to imagine a world where these movies actually end up being good.
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​   So what do you think about these ridiculous movies in the works? Are you excited for any of them? Let me know by commenting on this post! Also, if you enjoyed this article, share it on Facebook and Twitter. It really helps! Don't forget, I post every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So check back then for more movie reviews and miscellaneous movie thoughts!
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    Kyle Kruse

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